Every single moment that we were alive and we were together was miraculous – not miraculous in the sense of inexplicable or supernatural. We knew we were beneficiaries of chance. That pure chance could be so generous and so kind. That we could find each other in the vastness of space and the immensity of time. That we could be together for twenty years. That is something which sustains me and it’s much more meaningful.
We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful.
“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know of no other way than this…”
Summer’s over and today was the first day of fall. In a way, this is representative of us, with the change in season marking the end of our time together, but also the beginning of many firsts for me now without you. I’m sorry it’s taken so long to write, it’s been almost 6 weeks since you left and I didn’t think it was possible at first, but with each day that passes, it hurts a little bit less. This is both a relief, but also a growing source of guilt, because feeling better almost feels like forgetting you even though I know I never will.
Ever since we were little, this had always been the most awful thing I could ever imagine, so much so that somehow I managed to convince myself that day would never come. It was a child’s wish, but that’s what you became to me so I never stopped wishing that the impossible could maybe come true; just this one time.
It’s been such a difficult task for me to let you go because of how absurdly happy you made me. I could never put into words what you meant, but for me, you were love in its truest form. Everything was right with the world the moment you captured my heart all those years ago. Somehow you remained an endless bundle of inspiration that could always bring me back from whatever disappointment or failure I went through in life. There wasn’t a single day that went by where I didn’t appreciate and understand the full significance of that. I hope you knew how thankful I was for allowing me to dream like that for so long. My life with you was an unbroken sequence of perfect little moments that I will cherish forever until the end of time. Not many people know that’s what you were named after so it’s fitting that’s how long it will be before I ever forget you.
I love you, Crono. You were the softest pillow in the world. Hopefully I made a warm bed for you, too.
Thank you so much for everything, you have no idea how much you gave us, how unbelievably lucky we were to have you for so long. Being able to live with you was the greatest gift of my life. Our hearts will always be with you.